Friday, November 20, 2009

I almost got married!

Fun dream time! I was getting married to friend and coworker (we'll call him "S"). We were sitting outside, maybe waiting to take pictures? We were at a beautiful church and it was a GORGEOUS spring day. S was in his suit but I was dressed down. We were sitting on a bench talking about random stuff (none of that old-fashioned don't see the bride on the wedding day stuff, I guess), in love and completely oblivious to the chaos around us.

At one point I looked at my watch: 1:15. The wedding was at 2:00 so I said I should probably go get dressed! Next I was in the church in what looked like a choir room. I had a couple of girlfriends trying to help me but the mothers were getting in the way and were starting to STRESS ME OUT. So I said "Hey, isn't it about time for you two to get into your dresses?" That got them out of my hair and I was then able to focus on makeup and whatnot before putting on my dress. A little while later my mom and S's mom poked their heads in the door to say hello on their way to the sanctuary. My mom had on an off-white shell dress with jacket and S's mom had on a halter-style, light green dress. We exchanged smiles and waves and I got really giddy. "I'm so glad I chose to have a Spring wedding," I squealed, "even though I always said I'd do it in the Fall! I mean, look at all these colors!!" I was totally freaking out.

Before I knew it I was walking toward the back of the sanctuary to make my entrance. The sanctuary was pretty big and there were several entrances at the back. As I made my way to the center aisle, some people saw me before they were supposed to! Suddenly I started panicking. "Where's my DAD?!" I whispered to no one in particular. Finally I saw him and smiled as I walked toward him. He actually started down the aisle before I'd placed my arm in his--I had to sprint to keep up with him!

I tried my best to smile because hey, it’s my wedding day. Unfortunately my processional music was 1) that @#$&%$ Wagner march and 2) being played terribly on a slightly-out-of-tune piano. Dad and I paused halfway down the aisle to pose for a picture, and then had to stop again before we got to the end because three bridesmaids—in long, beautiful marine (blue) dresses—were also posing for a picture. Weren’t they supposed to be out of the way before I started my walk? Whose wedding was this anyway?!

Well, they were finally gone. And we apparently hadn't had a rehearsal because Dad took me on this weird route. It turns out we hadn't gone down the center aisle so we had to make a left turn to get to the altar. Then he kind of zig-zagged me between the bridesmaids [several more than I'd ever have in real life] and then planted me in front of the minister (who was facing the congregation, as usual) and directly to the groom's right. I motioned to Dad, trying to explain that he was supposed to stand between S and me. As I was trying to correct Dad and switch places, S was switching places with a girl on his left side (what the heck was he doing with a girl on his arm?!!). It looked like we were square-dancing with all this do-si-doing going on.

Well, I don’t know exactly what happened next. Dad never got to the giving of the bride because a couple of the bridesmaids on the other end of the wedding party (stage right) started fighting. I didn’t even know who these girls were! All I know is that the wedding never even really started because of the scene they were causing. The next thing I remember was sitting with my mom in a pew, trying not to cry. What in the world had just happened?!

Some moments—or maybe a lot—went by and then I had an idea. We were already dressed up, the reception was still booked. Why don’t S and I go to a Justice of the Peace or something and have a quick private ceremony, head back to the church for pictures (it’s SUCH a gorgeous day, after all) and then go to the reception? I don’t even think I ran the idea by S or not but I decided to run with it. Then it occurred to me “Hey, the minister is a good friend. Why not ask him to perform the ceremony, then head to the reception?” So I searched out the minister.

I found him, but guess what? The minister was now S. I know, it’s crazy. But this is one of my dreams, remember? Crazy comes with the territory.

So anyway, S was the minister so I don’t know who the groom was. I asked him if he’d be willing to continue with the ceremony with just the wedding party. He said he’d love to but that he might not be able to due to an injury he sustained (possibly during the bridesmaid fight?). He tried to smile and I saw bruising on his gums. Someone had punched him on his left cheek! I know this is crazy but even his teeth were purple and bruised, and maybe even swollen. Holy crap! I quickly explained that he didn’t have to do it if it was going to hurt! We could just as easily find a judge or other official to perform the ceremony.

And there you have it. I woke up sometime shortly after that. I almost got married.


  1. Good thing dreams are what we Wake up from. Hope your real wedding, if you choose to have one, is a real dream come true!

  2. Thanks, Wendy! My mom has half-jokingly given me permission to elope but I've played enough bad weddings that I must have my own ceremony--that way I can show people how it's supposed to be done! ;-)